The new half-million-dollar studios have bunk beds

Well, owners and marketers of Serif’s new mid-market apartments have come up with a new solution to the smallness of their studio units: optional furniture additions that include mechanical beds that rise and store in the ceiling.

Welcome back to Apartment Sadness, the SFist spin-off series that has taken a long pandemic since then, well, there was more to be sad about besides the unaffordability/livability of SFist apartments. And suddenly, at least for a minute there, finding an apartment became a lot easier!

Things may not quite go back to what they were before COVID, but market-priced homes in SF are still too expensive for many of us, and rents are slowly returning to what they were in early 2020 before a lot of crowding, very possibly. A brief exodus from the city.

Today, as it is very convenient, we offer you not a rental property, but an apartment – a whole group of apartments, in fact. These are the smallest units in the new Serif complex at 960 Market, between Mason and Taylor (5th and 6th). The flat-shaped building has been under construction for several years now—SFist first reported the plans in 2014—and the final 12-story, 408,000-square-foot project includes a 236-room hotel and 242-unit apartments. The opening of the building was postponed last year, and it appears that the opening of The Line, has yet to take place.

According to a marketing video posted to Serif’s Facebook in February, the building has contracted with Bumblebee Spaces to provide furniture options from the ceiling in the building’s design studio. The Bumblebee appears to be the modern solution to the Murphy beds, which have long been a space-saving solution for small urban apartments.

Keep in mind that these are studios that start around $540K and go up from there.

The SF standard has since covered the case of the pull-out bed, noting that Serif is promoting this as a way to turn a studio living space into a “flexible, multifunctional space”—as opposed to an apartment where your bed is far from the kitchen and there’s barely room for any other furniture. They also noted that Bumblebee beds would run buyers an extra $12,000 as an extra, although in February it looked like there were “credits” available to buyers, as an added perk.

Image via Serif / Facebook

Above, you can see an actress depicting a potential Serif buyer, just getting up in the morning in her multi-functional floppy space, searching for the crane tech on top of her that will take her bed away with just the click of an app.

Below, there she contemplates her cable-storage bed as he rises into his house during the day, remembering her $3,200 a month mortgage for that purpose, and she should have stayed in Arizona as her father said and would live in Arizona. Three bedroom house for this price.

Image via Serif / Facebook
Image via Serif / Facebook

yay! There’s room for pretend yoga now! Never have to worry about the condo market in San Francisco again!

Image via Serif / Facebook

In addition to a hideaway roof bed, Serif and Bumblebee offer hidden rope desks, in case you’re crazy or lazy enough to want to work from home in a 340-square-foot apartment.

Also, there are hidden storage boxes that fit into the beds – a place to stash your jewelry, condoms, and the like, which go down by the bed.

Image via Serif / Facebook

Here are the three studio designs available at Serif. They are rather tight! They range in size from 337 square feet to 360 square feet, according to these listings. And you’ll need those drop-down boxes to store things in when all you get is one small closet – and there’s no storage space.

This is the reality we live in, I think, if you want to own a property for less than $600,000 in San Francisco. You won’t get a functional kitchen or entertainment space to talk about, but maybe if you have a bed that hides in the ceiling, you can squeeze in more than one other person for cocktails.

At least the bathrooms are quite nice!

Courtesy of Sharif

All previous versions of Apartment Sadness on SFist.

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